Listening

Delight in Understanding the Two Sides of Every Story

You’ve heard that there are always two sides to every story. Both sides are trying to win or at least trying to be justified in their position.

You might be on one side of the argument or you might be the mediator who is trying to discern the situation. It happens at work (some corporations even have mediation teams), at church, in families (parents with more than one child know this situation all too well!), and elsewhere. Proverbs 18 has great wisdom for navigating these situations, beginning with this ground rule:  “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” (Proverbs 18:2, ESV)

Don’t be foolish in conflict–take pleasure in understanding!

The fool is selfish.

He only is concerned about expressing his opinion. There is no desire to listen to or understand the other side. The fool will likely interrupt the other person if they give that person a chance to talk at all. The fool will aggressively correct parts of the conversation he feels are wrong.

The fool’s mouth is destructive.

A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul” (Proverbs 18:6–7, ESV). When you take selfishness into a conversation, it will easily escalate into a fight and lead to destruction.

                      It is destructive outwardly
                      It will involve others. “Invites a beating” indicates that other parties are involved.

                      It is destructive inwardly
                      The fool’s mouth wreaks havoc to his own soul. Proverbs 18:4 says, “The words of a man’s                          mouth are deep waters; the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.” Words come from                            our heart (Matt. 15:18), so imagine what is happening to the heart or soul of a person who                            harbors such selfishness and bitter words. All of his being will be affected.

Follow this Simple Rule

Listen before you answer and consider the other side in order to discern well.

The goal in a conversation involving conflict is in Proverbs 18:5: “It is not good to be partial to the wicked or to deprive the righteous of justice.” And verse 13 says, “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.

I say this rule is simple, but it’s not. Our pride will influence us to be the first to speak, to get ahead of the game and be the first to strike. But verse 17 tells us the problem with that: “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.” Once we have heard the other side of the story, considered how the other person was thinking and how he was impacted by the situation that led to conflict, then we can begin to reconcile the situation in a godly way that seeks unity and not pompous victory.

There are two sides to every story; do you delight in understanding?

How To Listen to Boring Preaching

Ever listen to a boring sermon? As I preacher, I can honestly say that some sermons are more effective than others due to the preacher’s preparation and delivery. But the effectiveness of a sermon could also rest on the listener’s preparation and reception.

Preaching should explain and apply Scripture. It is a laborious work to preach; and it is a laborious work to listen and interact with a sermon. You might find Daryl Crouch’s article helpful on the listener’s preparation side, and I want to address the reception side by sharing a practical method of interacting with a sermon to allow it to be most effective in conforming you to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29).

I first read about the DOOR method from Adam Feldman in his book Journaling: Catalyzing Spiritual Growth Through Reflection (chapter 6). I want to share that outline, adding a few comments to each part.

When listening to a sermon, take notes! Here’s an outline you could use:

D- Details

Adam says to write down the important details about the sermon preached, like the date, preacher’s name, sermon title, and Scripture reference(s). When I was preparing to officiate a funeral, I looked through the Bible of the godly woman we would remember. I was struck by how she wrote these details in the margins of her Bible. She has my name and “1st sermon at Central” by the passage I first preached there. The memories were remarkable!

I would also add that if you are listening to a sermon and these details are not easily found, especially the Scripture reference, you might want to consider if you are actually listening to preaching. Also, being able to look quickly to compare your notes when you’ve heard sermons from the same passage could be very helpful to remind you of the applications you made during those different seasons of life.

O- Outline

Adam recognizes that you must discipline yourself to listen for the “flow” of a sermon. Some preachers readily and easily give an outline, whether in print or verbally. I think this part of your sermon notes could help you become less distracted. You have to be intently listening in order to complete this section of notes. Listening for the outline/flow of a sermon will keep you from cherry-picking tweetable quotes without understanding the context in which they were given.

O- Observation

Adam points out that you should be observing three persons: yourself (What is going on inside of you as you listen? Are you open to receiving this message?), the preacher (what is he most passionate about in the sermon?), and the Holy Spirit (What is He saying to you?).

I like this reflective model of listening. It takes the main points you might list in the “outline” section of your notes a little further, setting you up for recognizing how you should be transformed by that Scripture. While Adam is right in focusing on your reactions to the message, I would say that you must be careful not to let your feelings during the sermon blind to the meaning of the biblical text.

For example, I know people who were upset after a sermon I preached it touched on a particular sin they were involved in. If they were note-taking during that sermon, they might have noted how they felt. Ultimately, they stopped coming to our worship services because they allowed their emotions to supercede Scripture. Always conform your feelings to the truth of Scripture, not the other way around.

R- Respond

Consider asking, “How will I apply the Word preached today in the coming days?” I like this final point because it does not allow you to leave a sermon as an academic or philosophic pursuit. The Bible is to be learned and lived!

Two common mistakes in responding is 1) being too general or 2) putting too much. If you are too general, you won’t actually do anything. Saying, “Speak encouraging words to my neighbor when I see him outside” is better than “love others more.”  If you write five specific responses, you risk being overwhelmed and potentially inactive.

Try the DOOR method this Sunday. What other ways do you interact with a sermon?

Scroll to top
WP Twitter Auto Publish Powered By : XYZScripts.com